I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
