he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
