I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
