Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
