did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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