how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
this is an emotional support booty call
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
