from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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