Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
