U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
