Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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