I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
