Umm I'm too high to move.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
