why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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