Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
