I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
