does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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