entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
