Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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