You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How external is "for external use only"?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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