I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
