just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
