i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
