it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
