I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
try to milk me bitch
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
