You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
