My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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