dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
