After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
