me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He passed out mid-signature
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
