You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
