Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize