after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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