I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
