It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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