I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
