Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize