he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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