I can text with my tongue
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
