my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
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