eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
