Pappa wants mamma naked
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
