If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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