just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
