I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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