You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
