Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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