I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
