Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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