you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
