look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
