Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
