I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Randomize
