So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
