Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
