I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
