Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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