im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I touched a dick in church today
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