Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dicks are not precious.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
