remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
