i was born a porn star she said
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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