I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
