and you said cock pushups were impossible
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize