she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
